Lost. Chapter 2

Authors note: I did have this uploaded but I did a lot of editing. The last one I just put up really quick because I was on vacation and didn't have time to edit. So, I finally did the editing and its up.


Waiting. Patience. Careful planning. Considering all possibilities. Determination to finish the plans. Italy did all of these things. For years he stayed silent, pretending to be his old self. Yes, he really had been carefree and happy once. Back when he used to be called Chibitalia. Holy Rome had been around then and had been Chibitalia's best friend. He had been kind to him and had kissed him when he left for war. Feliciano had been devastated when he died. He felt as if he had lost the love of his life and perhaps he had.

Then Ludwig came. Ludwig didn't kiss him when he left for war. Instead, he drug Feliciano out to war with him. Feliciano hated the idea of killing an innocent person. What had that person ever done to him? All these humans only had one life. It was the countries that were cruel to each other. Shouldn't they just fight between themselves and leave the humans out of it.

Eventually, Feliciano became immune to killing humans. He got used to it so it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Yet he didn't show it. He continued to act like he hated to kill, that he didn't know how to fire a gun and that he only knew how to beg for his life during a war. Ludwig only yelled at him, chastised him for not being a good soldier. Feliciano tried his best to please him but his best wasn't enough for Ludwig. Slowly, the other countries came to pick on him and call him names. Ludwig would try to protect him when Feliciano around but he would always call Feliciano names behind his back.

Feliciano had loved Ludwig. He used to love to make him smile and on rare occasions, laugh. What was that saying he heard once? You always want what you can't have? Yeah that was it. His love for the German quickly changed to hate and then to loathing him when Ludwig would yell at him or call him names. Each time Ludwig would take hits at him, it slowly pushed Feliciano towards his ultimatum, wearing down on him and cutting his heart. Ludwig never knew how much each word would affect Feliciano, filling him with an empty cold feeling. Each night, those words seemed to echo in Feliciano's dreams, haunting him. Whoever said sleep was bliss was a liar. Feliciano didn't get a break from the other countries; not after meetings, not in his mind and not even in his sleep.

Yet Feliciano didn't let on to anything. He endured all the pain silently, not saying anything of what he had to deal with every single day and night. He just smiled and laughed and yelled for pasta like he usually would. No one could even sense a flicker of the pain the small Italian harbored. Everyone just assumed that since he smiled he was all right but Feliciano knew he was far from alright. How many people just smiled empty smiles? How many people didn't notice those empty smiles? And how many people died, killed themselves, because someone did not notice their empty smiles.

More then once, Feliciano had considered killing himself. The one night he had even taken a knife and slit his wrists. Much to his dismay, the wound hadn't been deep enough and he lived. He hadn't been able to do it. Recovering from the wound had hurt to much, caused him too much stress. He had to wear long sleeves during the hot summer days. He couldn't go swimming in the beach or tanning at his house. He had to make sure no one would notice, even though they probably wouldn't have said anything even if they saw it.

The scar was still prominent on his tan skin. The long line ran horizontal across his wrists. It was an ugly white color, standing out against his Mediterranean tan skin. It was like a daily reminder of his mistakes. He knew killing yourself was the wrong thing to do. You only had one life so why not live it. The more he thought about what he had in life the more he thought about how he should deal with the other countries. At first he considered confronting them about how he felt but that was such a womanly thing to do. The countries would only most likely to make fun of him more make Ludwig embarrassed to be around him.

Then, he thought that he should come up with a plan to get revenge for all the horrible things they've done to him. He thought about spreading rumors of them around but that wouldn't give him the sweet feeling of revenge. He wanted them to feel the pain he felt and the only way to do that was cause them physical pain. And thus, his idea was born.

Feliciano knew what he was doing was wrong, yet he did it anyway. He craved for revenge, to make them feel what he felt his entire existence. He couldn't call it a life since he didn't have anyone to live for. If he died, everyone would be happy that Feliciano was gone since they wouldn't have to worry about him any more.

Eventually, Feliciano decided he had enough of the teasing. As he lay in his bed after crying he decided enough was enough. I should make everyone go through the pain they made me go through. He roughly came up with several ideas in his head and spent many hours, weeks, months, even years to perfect his plan. That was the last night he cried because of the other countries.

Finally he set the bomb in a cafe in his own country. Yes, in his own country. He had felt a slight twinge and then burning sensation in his chest as it went off a few blocks from where he was standing after he had sneaked out of the back door when he went to use the bathroom. It was better to plant it in his own country. That way if Ludwig did happen to escape from him, the German man wouldn't know where to hide. Eventually, Feliciano would find him and punish him.

He walked back to the cafe, ignoring the cries and screams of his people around him. What did a couple mortals matter to him anyway? They would just die anyway so why not save them for the inevitable pain they would feel later in life. He stood over top of Ludwig's unconscious body, blood and dirt messing up his carefully slicked back blond hair. He smirked, power suddenly racing through him. He could do anything he wanted to Ludwig. He could kill him right here and right now. His finger tips itches to wrap themselves around his neck to choke the life from him, watching as all the life slowly ebbed from his body. He burned to see the look in Ludwig's blue eyes as he realized his betrayal. But what fun would that be? He had to stick to his carefully thought out plan. He couldn't kill him yet, but he certainly could beat him As Ludwig always said, discipline is always key to a well run organization. Hmm, Ludwig actually was useful for once.

Bending down, Feliciano picked Ludwig up and unceremoniously threw him over his shoulder not caring if it hurt the German. That was another thing he hid well. None of the other nations had an idea of how strong, swift and graceful he really was. He sometimes gave Ludwig a taste of his true speed during training when Ludwig would threaten him with no dinner if he didn't hurry up. Then, Italy ran so fast that Ludwig didn't stand a chance of catching up. Feliciano always secretly hoped that for once Ludwig would compliment him and tell him he did a good job. To his disappointment, Ludwig always found something to yell at him about like that he could stop running since he ran enough. That stupid German was just jealous at his speed.

Coming back to reality, Feliciano roughly sat Ludwig down on the hard concrete with his back to Feliciano's car. He took the thick sting of rope he had put in his pocket and tightly tied his ankles and wrists together. He then threw Ludwig in the back of his car, out of sight of anyone and threw a blanket over his body. Another one of his favorite rules; always have a backup plan.

Feliciano calmly got in the drivers seat. He smoothed his hair, avoiding the curl and looked in the mirror with a sadistic smile and adjusted it so he could keep an eye on Ludwig, not like he expected him to wake up but you should always be prepared for the impossible.

Feliciano drove down the street as fire trucks headed towards the cafe he had been at. The burn in his chest died down and he knew the fire trucks were putting the fire out. He didn't care about the pain it caused him; he was used to pain. If you wanted to achieve something you had to be willing to get your hands dirty.

Feliciano drove him to a secret military building where his army was helping him to 'conquer' his fellow nations. He had been able to trick them into believing that he wanted to expand Italy and that Germany was a threat to them. It hadn't been easy but Feliciano had learned that the things you want in life don't come easily. He wouldn't have to be careful to hide anything from his officials. In fact, his officials had given him orders to capture Ludwig and to keep him prisoner.

He took him to a room below ground. It was small, dark and dirty. Just the place to hide Ludwig; leave him here to think of all the horrible things he's done. Make him feel cold like how he made Italy feel.

Feliciano dragged Ludwig into the small cell. He untied Ludwig's hands then retied them behind the pole. Feliciano straightened up and looked at Ludwig. Ludwig's face was hanging limp, stray hairs hanging in front of his face. Feliciano frowned as hatred bubbled in him. Why should he be able to have such an innocent face despite all those horrible things he made Feliciano feel? Feliciano suddenly wiped a knife from his pocket and pressed it to Ludwig's face wanting to carve him up like a pumpkin. He stopped. No matter how much he tried to deny it he still had feelings for the German. He couldn't just cut Ludwig when he was asleep. He wanted to have fun with him first. He wanted his revenge, he wanted Ludwig to realize all the pain he caused him and maybe even have Ludwig notice his strength. His hand trembled and he sighed. He also had a plan to stick to and this wasn't part of it. He withdrew the knife and returned it to its case. He sighed; he'll just have to settle for kicks and punches.

"You're lucky this time. One of these days you won't be so lucky." he growled, getting off the cold floor and leaving the room.

Feliciano walked out of the room smirking. The way Ludwig had looked at him with such relief as he walked into the room was priceless. He really did wish he had a camera. He watched, laughing in his mind, as Ludwig's face changed from joy, to confusion then to horror. The look of pure horror and sadness made Feliciano want to laugh. But he had to keep his cool, not let all the power go to his head. He did enjoy the way Ludwig looked when he pressed the knife to his neck, not that he had planned to actually cut him. Truly priceless.

He wanted this feeling to last forever. This feeling of power and strength pulsed through his body; sharpening his senses and making him feel high. This feeling was his own personal drug. He loved the feeling of it and longed for it when it was gone. Maybe if he beat Ludwig, he could feel that more often and he could release some steam of the vulnerable German. He smirked as he walked back to his temporary room on the base where he could get some work done and prepare for the next step of his plan.